(OK, so maybe not if you think of residency as still being in school, but I had to tell myself when I was re-entering the education system that this was just a 4-year program).
I crammed last night, crammed this morning, took one more of those disheartening, yet not completely heartbreaking tests, and year one of med school was suddenly over.
Today I had lunch with some friends (and yes, beer), will attend a birthday party later on, and tomorrow I am en route to Vermont to run another one of those insanely long runs that darn Joe Henderson has me addicted to. I feel out of shape, but very happy that, despite it all, I am still in shape enough to do it (I think!).
And "despite it all" ought to encompass the cyclic patterns of cramming/beer drinking, the cutting up body parts, the shadowing of doctors, the pediatric physicals, the baby measuring, the liver palpating, the rewards of geriatrics, the despair of geriatrics, the new bike routes, the living in Main st, Rochester (where congregations of police cars happen with somewhat an alarming frequency), the new, precious friendships, and the teratomas (I learned this last night, most disgusting thing I've ever seen so far).
It's sure been a rollercoaster, especially the first few months (until I learned how to memorize shit, which apparently I had been successfully avoiding despite being a professional student). And although I feel almost as ignorant about the science behind medicine as I did last August, at least now I don't feel awkward asking about someone's sexual orientation, habits, drugs, depression, and all that stuff. Everyone seems to pick what they really wanna retain in Med School (the surgeons were uncannily good in Anatomy, for example). I have worked hard in my primary care clinical work, have had a blast with it, and have predictably done better than in any other of my classes. They tell med students that they will change their minds about 10 times about what specialty they want to go into before they actually make a decision. But perhaps 35 year-olds don't change their minds so much. Perhaps we are more aware of whether we're in it for the thrill of the ER, the dollar signs of Dermatology, or the relationship with the patients. For me, the later is obviously the winner, and although I could still change my mind, I am enjoying the ride for the moment, having fun with the art of medicine (versus the science of it, which yes, is interesting, but not quite as thrilling to me).
Gotta get some sleep before the festivities tonite. More later, I have great plans for this summer...
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